Muslim Organizations Defend Pamela Geller—Claim She’s making them Tons of Money

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May 222014
 

Muslim Organizations Defend Pamela Geller—Claim She’s making them Tons of Money

By Dina Darrak

@Theokranews

pam geller #1Washington DC—Over 100 Muslim organizations throughout the United States announced today they would defend blogger and activist Pamela Geller for conveying any inflammatory or hateful remarks towards Islam due to the staggering amount of money she has generated for Muslim advocacy and civic relation groups.

In a joint press release commissioned by the Islamic Peace Coalition for North America, 121 Muslim representatives signed a declaration of support for Geller, because her antics, hostility and Islamaphobic rhetoric has brought in millions of dollars for their respective organizations which in the past several years had stagnated from limited revenue because of the relative calm and decline of negative press on Islam. Coincidentally, the release came just days after Geller received criticism for promoting a DC metro ad which referenced alleged Jewish hatred in the Quran.

“I think she’s fantastic and a fine lady,” said Yaya Vafi, Executive Director of BURAQ, a civil rights group based in Houston. “I mean with so many Americans using common sense these days, you would think Islam is as ordinary and boring as Christianity. But then Pam decides to scare everyone by opening her big mouth and what do you know—we’ve got tons of Muslims giving us thousands of  dollars all on account of her.” Vafi said he had spoken to 20 other organizations around the country, each confirming they had made their average yearly donation total within the first three weeks of May. Anonymous sources in multiple Muslim communities also observed non-profit employees purchasing large homes, clothes and trips to Fiji, which normally would not be an option for individuals with nominal salaries.

Geller, 58, who has been an outspoken critic of Islam, is the creator of The Atlas Shrug, a right-wing conservative online blog which focuses on negatively portraying the global religion of 1.6 billion followers with unsubstantiated reports of Muslims attempting to overtake the United States through various subversive programs. Such demented coverage includes Sharia Law, support of Muslim terrorists, Sharia Law, Muslim pirates, Sharia Law and more Sharia Law. In 2010, she and self-proclaimed scholar of Islam, Robert Spencer, founded the organization Stop Islamization of America (SIOA), committed to vilifying Islam through the use of smear campaigns. A highlight of such tactics was in 2012 when SIOA ran a series of ads in New York City’s subway which read “In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Support Israel. Defeat Jihad.” Not surprisingly, The Southern Poverty Law Center and the Anti-Defamation League have labeled SIOA, a hate group.

“Well, let’s be honest—the bitch (Geller) is crazy,” said Ibrahim Tawfik, Chairperson of the Dove Initiative, a Washington DC based interfaith group which

Tawfik takes a stroll to the bank to cash his organization's latest checks.

Tawfik takes a stroll to the bank to cash his organization’s latest checks.

promotes religious equality. “I mean is she as crazy as Solange Knowles, I don’t know. But the great thing about Geller is that she scares Muslims. And when she does that, they all come to us with checks in order to combat people like her. In the end, we reap the benefits.”  However, not everyone is finding the latest anti-Islamic vitriol by Geller acceptable.

“This woman was the single biggest instigator towards Park 51, denigrated Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagen by posting a picture of her wearing a graphically cropped Nazi uniform and has countlessly berated President Obama,” said Lydsey Varnick, Senior Strategy Adviser for the RAND Corporation. “And now she’s got an ad on buses showing Hitler and the Mufti of Palestine in order to create tensions between Jews and Muslims. Pam is like Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars, constantly babbling and annoying.” Still, Geller has her supporters, many of which ironically come from the Muslim community.

“I think we all need to calm down and let her demonize Islam,” asserted Murtaaz Sadir, Director of Public Relations for The Advancement of American Muslims in Politics and the brand new owner of a 2014 Mercedes 500SL. “When Geller gets out of hand we’ll handle it. Just give us your money and we’ll take care of everything. You guys worry too much.”

Nov 082013
 

Houston Imam Gets Hooked, Cooked and Fried in Unbelievable Catfish Hoax

By Farookh Balsarah 

Houston, TX—Move over Manti Te’o. You’ve got company.

imam in shock after MTV show Catfish shows up at his doorA prominent young and upcoming Imam who was hailed as the Hamza Yusuf of his generation has taken an indefinite leave of absence from chaplain duties at his mosque after a popular television program discovered the alleged woman he met online and planned to marry, turned out to be a 48 year-old male Pakistani cab driver from Chicago.

Faisal Kazmi, the Imam at the Islamic Society of The Woodlands, an affluent suburb of Houston, was in shock when the staff of Catfish, the wildly successful MTV show which investigates suspicious predators of online dating, showed up at his house with the bad news that the beautiful and good-hearted girl of Oakbrook, Illinois he met through a friendly internet chat was in fact, Hamid “Boats” Boatwalla, of West Rogers Park, Chicago.

Said Boatwalla laughing hysterically , “this was the greatest prank I have ever pulled off in my life! I can’t tell you how many Facebook friend requests I’ve gotten since last week. How do you you like them apples!”

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Hamid “Boats” Boatwalla– I’ve made so many friends as a result of this prank!

“This is super embarrassing” an emotional Kazmi said. “I thought she was real. We had plans to get married, start a family and lecture one other. I can’t believe it was some dude who drives taxis. I got totally catfished.”

“He was pretty devastated,” said Quinn Halliday, associate producer of Catfish, who indicated Kazmi, 25, started to sweat profusely when the findings report was disclosed. “I thought he was going to faint.”

The story began almost 6 months ago when Kazmi was on a WebEx forum explaining Islamic banking with a group of Muslims. One individual, a person by the name of Shakka Khan from Dallas, was very eager to listen to him.

“I didn’t think anything of it at first and was flattered that this Muslim woman was asking me all these questions on Islamic mortgages, which personally makes no sense to me, but was doing my best to provide her with information” said a still devastated Kazmi smoking a Newport. “It felt great to be important and people can count on your knowledge for spiritual guidance.” Eventually, both Kazmi and Shakka exchanged contact information which soon matured into emails, swapping photos and online chats. According to Kazmi, it felt real. “I can’t tell you how excited I was about all of this.”

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The first picture sent from Shakka Khan to Kazmi.

Kazmi acknowledged that texting and tweeting soon turned into phone calls. “She had the sweetest voice,” he cringed. “If your back was turned and he sang  “Single Ladies”, you would swear that it was Beyonce.”

After 7 weeks, the Houston native and graduate of Baylor decided he was ready to take it to the next step requesting to meet her several times in some public setting. But Shakka allegedly was shy and did not want to rush into things. Kazmi needed help. He decided to seek out his Uncle for advice. “I told him that I love Shakka! He told me that he did too. I was confused with his comment until he told me about Shakka Khan, the popular 80s platinum R&B artist. And then it just hit me.”

With the help of some friends, Kazmi decided to contact the producers of Catfish, who were intrigued by the story.  “Quinn [Halliday] and I just looked at each other and we kind of knew where this was going,” said Michael Olsen, co-producer. “Shakka Khan-wow.” After conducting some research and internet forensics, the Catfish crew tracked down the cabbie to be the originator of the hoax.

Boatwalla, who proudly confessed to the prank couldn’t believe how long the gag lasted. “I’m baffled man. I mean here’s a guy who obviously is smart, grounded and very disciplined. Love is truly blind.”