Ben Affleck Converts to Islam after Maher Debate According to Reports

 ENTERTAINMENT, RELIGION  Comments Off on Ben Affleck Converts to Islam after Maher Debate According to Reports
Oct 092014
 

Ben Affleck Converts to Islam after Maher Debate According to Reports

By Taaraz ‘TJ’ Zakhif

@TheOkranews

#Gonegirl

AP REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER A ENT USA CABoston (MA)—Reports actor and director Ben Affleck has converted to Islam generated uncanny social media applause and rave throughout the Muslim community despite no confirmation from a credible source.

Affleck, who last week went head to head on the topic of Islam and extremism with comedian, critic and all-around Islam hater Bill Maher on his HBO show Real Time with Bill Maher, never acknowledged himself as a Muslim. But by sporting a scruffy beard and using frequent hand gestures to make a point as is common in many Middle Eastern countries, rumors quickly swirled the 42 year-old celebrity had taken a new leap of faith. Muslims organizations took little time in proclaiming the exciting but unsubstantiated news.

“We are so thrilled Ben has decided to become a Muslim!” said ISNA public relations manager Talha Badwani. “Bill thought he was going to pull a fast one on our brother, but Hadrat Affleck kept them in check. How you like me now?!”

The Affleck-Maher debate has become the latest trend streaming through the Internet. Intense  coverage complimented with thousands of comments have been posted on a myriad of media outlets reacting to Maher’s fiery negative rhetoric on Islam which did not subscribe to his liberal platform . Affleck refuted passionately and sharply towards Maher’s remarks as well as other guest and critic Sam Harris, who called Islam “the motherlode of bad ideas.”

“What is your solution? To condemn Islam?” Affleck later questioned Maher and Harris, atheists known for ridiculing religion, but particular fondness of verbally abusing a religion of over 1 billion followers. For many Muslims, Affleck echoed a voice of reason which somehow snowballed into gossip of his conversion ad swiftly made its ways from community centers to mosques throughout the country.

“We’re pretty sure he became a Muslim as of last week,” said Imam Feisal Ataullah of the Islamic Center of North Texas in Richardson, TX. “70% of the non-Muslims who speak with such emotion are always a Muslim.”  While that made no sense, Affleck, who starred in such movies as The Town, Argo and Good Will Hunting for which he won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay had also studied Middle Eastern affairs at Occidental College. To Ataullah the trivial knowledge of his education was just the cherry on top in his assumption Affleck had turned to Islam.  “Yeah I know he hasn’t taken the shahada (Islamic creed declaring the belief in one God), but come on, he’s so damn close!”

At least one news service wasted no time in declaring Affleck a Muslim. On the October 7th edition of Fox News’ Fox & Friends, co-host Steve Doocy and guest Dr. Zuhdi Jasser accused Affleck for “for arguing against charges that Islam is uniquely prone to violence and extremism,” referring to him as “Imam Ben Affleck.” As Jasser, a cardiologist, founder of the American Islamic forum for Democracy and a terrific asshole despised by the Muslim community wanted to denigrate Affleck, he ironically added more gasoline to the Affleck conversion suspicions which to some made it official.

“Never in a thousand years would I ever believe Fox,” said Maher Siyaf, Director of Outreach Development for Orange County Islamic Foundation.  “But this is too juicy to not believe. We love you Ben!”

Affleck’s publicist Ken Sunshine has denied any truth to the rumors of him becoming a Muslim, calling it yet another stunt by social media to rile society into more controversy. But he also didn’t deny another report which claims Affleck will be opening for Cat Stevens on his Winter tour later this year. Sunshine stated Affleck hasn’t made a decision.

Media Outlets Furious Ethiopian Hijacker Was Not Muslim

 POLITICS  Comments Off on Media Outlets Furious Ethiopian Hijacker Was Not Muslim
Feb 212014
 

Media Outlets Furious Ethiopian Hijacker Was Not Muslim

By Riaz Hamzavi

Twitter@TheOkraNews

SWITZERLAND-ETHIOPIA-HIJACKINGWashington (DC)—Despite the relief many Muslims felt when it was confirmed the man who attempted to hijack an Ethiopian airlines flight this past Monday, was not a Muslim, many media outlets were upset by the outcome.

“I cannot tell you how much time we spent, how many cue cards we wrote up, so we could be ready to take down yet another terrorist. Then we find out he’s not Muslim!” said Max Hellstrom, co-executive producer for Fox News Washington. “Here’s a toast to the good old days when we could count on one of these nuts to take over a plane and give us plenty of stories to get ratings.”

Hellstrom was not alone in his disappointment. The Associated Press cited more than 60 complaints from global media sources angry the thirty-something Ethiopian assailant, who also was the co-pilot on the flight, had no ties to Islam.

“When this broke, we were so excited, said Byron Hathaway, Senior Vice-President of Digital Content for NewsMax.com, the conservative online media organization based in Tampa. “Muslim articles were kind of in a lull ever since the Boston Marathon died down. I was hoping this was going to be the return of Islamaphobia so we could all listen to the hits one more time. It would have been fun and trippy—like seeing a Black Sabbath reunion.”

However, the right-wing press was not the only side upset on the non-Muslim hijacking. CNN was a “little stunned” with the discovery of the man’s religious profile.  “There were so many re-writes to do that our editing team was pissed,” said Brendan Anderson, a senior writer for Wolf Blitzer’s show, The Situation Room. He made mention of a new three hour segment the network had produced in 72 hours about Islamic attacks on airplanes called “Please Don’t Fasten Your Seatbelts: We’re Never Landing.”

“I’m not going to say we’re stereotyping Muslims when it comes to hijackings. But I do think we like to hedge our bets a little and go for the obvious choice,” said Brian Strazzante. “It’s kind of like picking the Yankees to go to the World Series every year. It’s not guaranteed. But come on—it’s the Yankees. You wouldn’t expect anything less from them.”

Racial profiling and discrimination towards Muslims at airport has been on a decline for the past 5 years. While some media personalities such as Emmy Award winner Juan Williams and all-around bigoted bitch Anne Coulter had been vocal with their opinions on flying the un-friendly skies with Muslims on board, the loosening of TSA profiling coupled with advanced security screening has eased many passenger concerns with safety.

Still, Margaret George, a research analyst for the popular London news source, The Guardian says, there’s always sense in beating a dead horse. “It’s so much easier when it’s the same ethnic or religious group that conducts a crime. It makes our lives as journalists easier because then we don’t have to fact-check. The name of the game is speed, not accuracy.” George also stipulated that because the hijacker was not a Muslim and only wanted asylum in Switzerland (even though he threatened to crash the plane), news of the incident was short-lived because it didn’t have that brand to make it sensational. “When you say Chanel, I think of perfume. When you say hijack, I think of Islam. It’s a marketed commodity. Cheers.”

Apparently the only news station which had no problems with the story of the non-Muslim Ethiopian hijacker was New York’s Atlantis Cable News (ACN), However, ACN is a fictitious television network created by Aaron Sorkin which was on HBO for two seasons before it was cancelled. Reports have surfaced the show was terminated because it was purely objective and told the truth in all circumstances of a story, which to many within the business was a complete fabrication of reality.