43 Year-Old Bachelor Thinks He ‘Still Has Shot’ Marrying 20-Something Girls
By Hannah Rizwi
San Jose (CA) — A 43 year-old Muslim bachelor, who for years had been celebrating the single life, has decided he wants to settle down and marry a woman nearly half his age.
Sami Shareef, a resident of Fruitdale, California and a Senior Security Engineer for Cisco, declared his biggest goal for 2014 would be to please his parents, who had all but given up on their only son after they found a picture last year in his Instagram account of Shareef in Acapulco, Mexico. He was wearing a sombrero with two women dressed in bikinis on his lap. The digital photo album was titled Spring Break Biaaatch-2013.
“I was shocked when I saw the photos, but it only confirmed my thoughts about him,” said Shareef’s father Ather. “I knew he was the fraternizing type over a decade ago when he came into our home for an Eid Al-Adha party dressed in a toga, even though he claimed it was an ihram,” the elder Shareef stated, referring to the white garments all Muslim men wear when attending the annual pilgrimage of Hajj. “God really had a sense of humor when He made Sammi.”
While he has not mentioned any one woman specifically, Shareef, who is also called by his friends as ‘Good Times Sammi’, said he was reluctant to find someone closer his age as he believes older women are much pickier and tend to be finicky with their selection. “Honestly, I just couldn’t see it happening. I think I’m much more flexible than they are,” Shareef asserted. “All I want is a simple Muslim girl who is religious, but loves to party; a girl who wears hijab but can also convert it into a mini-skirt. And she has to kind of look like Heidi Klum. It’s a very meager request. I’ve become humble.”
The news of Shareef’s intentions met with hysterical laughter from just about all Muslim women in the San Jose area. “He has got to be out of his mind,” said Hina Malik, a 26 year-old dentist from Cupertino. “Look at him! Only an airhead would go for this guy.” Malik was quick to note the hundreds of selfies Shareef posted on Facebook, including one video of him in a Zumba tank top flexing his biceps and calling them ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction.’
“He’s 43 and I’m 28,” said Sarah Basool, an attorney from Sunnyvale when asked if she would consider Shareef. “Talk about rocking the cradle.” Basool said there is no girl with common sense that would ever marry him let alone think its not creepy. “He graduated high school in 1989 when I was 3 years old! Ewwwww.”
“This man appears to be somewhat cocky and most likely a self-inflicting narcissist,” said Dr. Osama Nadar, a clinical psychologist at the University of California in Berkeley . “While the significant gap in age between two spouses is not unheard of in America, in Mr. Shareef’s case, its all about vanity.” Nadar described Shareef as a person similar to many older single males who’s ego most likely was massively rejuvenated through the conception of social media in the early 2000s. “Normally these macho types probably hit rock bottom when they get to 35 as they realized they were just a shadow of their youth. But the internet has changed all that. Now a man who’s well beyond his prime can act and feel immature as much as he wants through the comfort of images he posts. That’s priceless.”
However, Shareef insists he has grown up and become everything he wanted to be.
“I’ve definitely changed. I have a job. I only go to Mardi Gras every other year and frat parties have been reduced to only once a month. I even stopped dressing as a leprechaun for St. Patty’s day back in 2011,” Shareef said. “So I think its now time for that one lucky lady to find out what Good Times Sammi is all about!”