Police in Several States Make Amends with Minorities: Commemorating January as Reverse Profiling Month

 POLITICS  Comments Off on Police in Several States Make Amends with Minorities: Commemorating January as Reverse Profiling Month
Dec 182014
 

Police in Several States Make Amends with Minorities: Commemorating January as Reverse Profiling Month

By Hasan Mahfouz

@theokranews

police harrassment-CoverLos Angeles (CA)—not to be lumped with the CIA and the latest torture scandal plaguing the organization in recent weeks, police officers in six states will be honoring January as “White Ain’t Right Month”. The campaign created and endorsed by the Law Enforcement and Protection Agency of America will provide Caucasian males between the ages of 16 and 55 the same harassment and physical abuse many African, Latino and Muslim-Americans receive on a daily basis.  

“We understand there has been a lot of unexpected racial tension and violence,” said Deputy Commissioner Jamie Dirks of the Los Angeles Police Department at a press conference held Thursday morning. But we’re here to tell everyone we want to be recognized as an equal opportunity service when it comes to getting your head bashed in.” Dirks, who provided no comment to the November decision of no-indictment to Officer Darren Wilson, accused of killing 18 year-old Michael Brown which led to demonstrations throughout the word, said while he is beamingly confident more “spooks, wetbacks and ragheads will get their fair share of jail time,” he wanted to provide assurance for ethnicities that there would be an increase in white harassment.  “Please know we are doing what we can to avoid the race card, by giving empathy when we unleash on one of our own for kicks. It is our good faith gesture to you.”

2014 has been a difficult year for African-Americans and minorities with police in the United States. Asides from the Ferguson unrest that had gripped the country for much of the summer and fall, the death of Staten Island resident Eric Garner made headlines due to an alleged choke-hold by New York police officer Daniel Pantaleo, who also was later not indicted took national attention.  In addition, more outrage commenced in Cleveland this past month when further information was disclosed on the killing of 12 year-old Tamir Rice who also was shot by a police officer. Likewise, former Chicago Police Commander John Burge who was convicted of perjury for allegedly torturing 100 African-Americans is reportedly being released from jail after serving only 4 years in prison. With an exorbitant amount of pressure and appearing desperate, law enforcement agencies are trying to demonstrate fairness by scrutinizing the largest demographic.

A pilot launch of White Ain’t Right had already been initiated as a warm-up to next month’s commemoration. In suburban Houston, 6 men, all Caucasian were arrested last Sunday night for drunken and disorderly conduct at a bar after the Dallas Cowboys game. Typically they would be patted on the back and sent home by taxi, but officers on call allegedly tazed four of the offenders while hog-tying the other two and placing them in the back of their squad car. In Detroit, Arabs and African-Americans looked on while local police pulled over several college students from the University of Michigan, requested for the driver to show proof of insurance, then ripped up the documents and hauled them in for attempted assault and battery. “We are trying to show everyone you don’t have to be black, brown or yellow to get the shit beaten of out of them. A level playing field for everyone, especially during the Holliday season, is our way of giving back to the community.”

African-Americans protest the killing of Trayvon Martin.

African-Americans protest the killing of Trayvon Martin.

The White Aint Right program has not only been supported by police departments. Right-Wing coalitions like the Heritage House have championed the cause and are looking to raise money for next year’s campaign with donations that would expand the program in more than 30 states. The heavily watched and racially biased television show Cops will be airing new Caucasian-only incidents and arrests for the remainder of the month including a 12 hour serial-killers marathon on New Year’s Eve. Coincidentally, just about all serial killers in the United States have historically been Caucasian. However, not everyone is happy with the outcome. Muslim groups such as the Council of American Islamic Relations (CAIR) and the Islamic Circle of North America (ICNA) have denounced the reverse harassment program stating the campaign objectives are nothing more than enforcing and recognizing police gestapo tactics but not addressing the issues which have plagued minorities. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) sent out a press release Thursday condemning such harsh tactics and discrediting any notion of police equality among all Americans.

“This is basically a plan concocted by several high level officials who were drunk in a bar one night,” said Teresa Sampson, Vice-President of Communications and Public Relations for the NAACP. “How on Earth does this help Black America, much less any other minority group in this country?”

Surprisingly, according to a Global Research report, much of the recent police enforcement training which have raised the level of intensity in crime-fighting and counter-terrorism has been conducted through privately funded seminars in Israel where combat-ready tactics have become fiercer and deadlier.

Breaking News: Tariq Ramadan agrees to attend ISNA Convention pending changes

 POLITICS, RELIGION  Comments Off on Breaking News: Tariq Ramadan agrees to attend ISNA Convention pending changes
Aug 282014
 

Breaking News: Tariq Ramadan agrees to attend ISNA Convention pending changes

Tariq Ramadan in TV debate on minarets in SwitzerlandLast month, Dr. Tariq Ramadan, a prominent Islamic scholar and leader from Switzerland, surprised Muslims in North America with a public announcement. In an open letter, he noted that he would not attend either the ISNA or RIS Conventions this year due to concerns he had with each organization. Dr. Ramadan explained his positions in the form of a public letter. ISNA responded back to his concerns, which focused  mostly on their stances on domestic and foreign policy. It was rumored that there might be discussions between the two parties to reconcile these, as well as several other smaller issues, that bothered Dr. Ramadan about ISNA. Using it’s extensive global resources, the Okra staff has obtained private correspondence between both sides. Dr. Ramadan has agreed to attend this year’s convention pending certain conditions. Below is an excerpt:

Change Themes.  Let’s start with your convention theme. Do you guys really think anyone pays attention to this stuff?  I’ll give $100 right now to anyone who can name the last five years themes without searching. Look, the conference is identical every year. Why make up an illusion like people are changing the world every time they register for the ISNA Convention? Keep it real. Here’s a suggestion. If you want to make it dramatic, just use Roman Numerals like the Super Bowl. ISNA XIV. Classy.

Better Entertainment. Hey, I’m all for good, clean fun, but it doesn’t have to be lame.  Some of the comedians keep saying the same jokes every year, and they weren’t funny to begin with. Does “how many ways to say Assalamu Alaikum” sound funny to you?  As for the music, does everyone have to sing corny songs about Islam? Can’t we just enjoy quality music by Muslim performers that’s relatively wholesome?  I like the way my man, Cat, I mean Yousef Islam does it. “Peace Train” was sweet.

Better Questions. I have always valued sharing knowledge with those who pursue it. Yet, when I go to ISNA—actually Muslim event in America—I get strange vibes…like Muslims think I’m a rock star.  Groupies want photo ops to post on Facebook to say they know me. And then there are “The Poets” who gather after speeches amongst a small crowd of people to greet me. They pose as if to ask a question, but all they’re doing is trying to impress me and the crowd with some deep, fancy-worded, overly philosophical, abstract remark, which says nothing…except how deep they are. All they’re really showing is that they’re vain and must have recently studied for the SAT’s, based on their choice of obscure words. Lastly, there are the Seekers who want me to provide them with answers to all of life’s questions. Look, I’m happy to discuss geo-political issues and address some aspects of spirituality. But I’m not the Messiah and there’s no reason to hang onto every word.  Sometimes, I feel like making up stuff with random words—like Steve Martin in “Leap of Faith”—just to see how far it goes. I’d like personal assistants who can screen out all of the above. And Muslim Americans need to cut the hero worship. Creepy!

Follow Up Calls: You know, a lot of claims are made in these conferences. At seminars, workshops. and main events. By speakers, as well as some in the audience who gather after the program ends. So how many do anything after they get home? Is going to ISNA itself their idea of Islamic work or do they learn and apply things. I’d like follow up calls. Anyone who boasts about all the things they’re going to do should be on this list.

My Original Concerns. All the things I wrote about ISNA’s stances and being silent on critical issues are serious concerns. I appreciate the efforts you’ve made since my remarks. There’s still a lot more to do and we can discuss these…but I’ll work with you.

Three Coca-Cola Executives Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize after Making Muslims Smile

 BUSINESS  Comments Off on Three Coca-Cola Executives Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize after Making Muslims Smile
Feb 062014
 

Three Coca-Cola Executives Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize after Making Muslims Smile

By Farookh Balsarah

Twitter@theokranews

coca cola nobel peace prize muslimsNew York City (NY)—Three advertising executives from the gargantuan global soda maker, Coca Cola, were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize after a Muslim woman wearing a hijab appeared in their 1 minute Super Bowl commercial.

The ad, entitled, “America the Beautiful” took liberty at showing a variety of religious and ethnic minorities in the country with the message that the favorite soft drink of choice is shared by a pluralistic and diverse society but who all live and share the same happiness in the United States.

“Omaha!” shouted Jeff Electrick Head Copy Editor of the commercial which has already received over 2.2 million hits on YouTube since its debut this past Sunday. “If I knew that all it took to get considered for a Peace Prize was to get some dame wearing a scarf on her head to smile at the camera for one second, I would have been Mother Teresa’s level 10 years ago!”

Along with Electrick, 41, senior creative director Clark Lyte, 42, and junior copywriter Dennis Orkestra, 31, were given recognition and nominations although all three are considered as one potential recipient for the award.

To make Muslims smile has been a concerted effort by multiple international organizations, including the United Nations who has found the task rather cumbersome considering the constant blame Muslims are subjected to on a daily basis. A recent Gallup poll showed close to 77% of Muslims are disgruntled by their image in the media specifically being blamed for terrorist threats, violently objecting to derogatory Islamic cartoons and ruining birthday parties.

“As our world becomes smaller with the advancement of technology, we face a severe epidemic of frowning Muslims. They remind me of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh,” said former United Nations Secretary-General Koffi Annan. “I believe Coca-Cola has taken the right steps to get us there.”

The ad executives said they had no idea the impact a one second cameo by a Muslim woman would have and began to get tweets of appreciation from thousands of Muslims during halftime of the Superbowl. Notable tweets were received from the Prime Ministers of Jordan and Indonesia, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and the head of Hezbollah. Al-Qaeda simply wrote- “Thanks for the props Coke. Got the warm fuzzies.”

“We were eating at Taco Bell after the game, when I received a text from our boss that read ‘what the f**k did U do!’ He had a lot of exclamation points,” said Orkestra who was certain the commercial was a bomb and that he would most likely get fired. “I told Clark we should get our things from the office now because I didn’t think we would be allowed back to work. But man, was I wrong.”

On Tuesday, former President of the United States, Jimmy Carter submitted a nomination at the deadline on behalf of the ad group, Eletrick Lyte Orkestra, to the Norwegian Nobel Committee for consideration on the annual award which has been previously given out to heads of states, religious figureheads, and global activists. If selected, it would mark the first time an individual/entity from a highly profitable and exploitive company would receive the laureate.

“Finally someone made us smile,” said Umair Basha, Assistant Communications Director for the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA). “It’s nice to have one of your own in a mega commercial.”

Since the beginning of the week Coca-Cola shares have continued to rise on massive optimism particularly fueled from billionaire Muslim investors who feel special that someone has acknowledged them in a positive light. Despite not realizing Coca-Cola’s marketing team had discovered the American Muslim demographic to be one of the wealthiest based on per capita, most Muslims are thrilled they may be taken as part of the American family.

Coca-Cola is allegedly now working on a new ad with the Taliban which will reenact the storyline from their 1979 classic commercial featuring “Mean” Joe Greene only this time the Hall of Fame Pittsburgh Steelers’ defensive end will be replaced by a Taliban soldier who has just beaten the shit out of a high-schooler for reading a book. As he completes his treacherous flogging, a 7 year holding a bottle of Coke offers him the drink to quench his thirst, to which the soldier smiles and gives his machete to the kid in exchange. Coca-Cola denies this report.