43 Year-Old Bachelor Thinks He ‘Still Has Shot’ Marrying 20-Something Girls

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Jan 212014

43 Year-Old Bachelor Thinks He ‘Still Has Shot’ Marrying 20-Something Girls

By Hannah Rizwi

bachelor, san jose, St. Patrick's Day, Mardi Gras, Spring Break, bikinis, hejab, zumba, University of California, muslim girls, social mediaSan Jose (CA) — A 43 year-old Muslim bachelor, who for years had been celebrating the single life, has decided he wants to settle down and marry a woman nearly half his age.

Sami Shareef, a resident of Fruitdale, California and a Senior Security Engineer for Cisco, declared his biggest goal for 2014 would be to please his parents, who had all but given up on their only son after they found a picture last year in his Instagram account of Shareef in Acapulco, Mexico. He was wearing a sombrero with two women dressed in bikinis on his lap. The digital photo album was titled Spring Break Biaaatch-2013.

“I was shocked when I saw the photos, but it only confirmed my thoughts about him,” said Shareef’s father Ather. “I knew he was the fraternizing type over a decade ago when he came into our home for an Eid Al-Adha party dressed in a toga, even though he claimed it was an ihram,” the elder Shareef stated, referring to the white garments all Muslim men wear when attending the annual pilgrimage of Hajj. “God really had a sense of humor when He made Sammi.”

While he has not mentioned any one woman specifically, Shareef, who is also called by his friends as ‘Good Times Sammi’, said he was reluctant to find someone closer his age as he believes older women are much pickier and tend to be finicky with their selection. “Honestly, I just couldn’t see it happening. I think I’m much more flexible than they are,” Shareef asserted. “All I want is a simple Muslim girl who is religious, but loves to party; a girl who wears hijab but can also convert it into a mini-skirt. And she has to kind of look like Heidi Klum. It’s a very meager request. I’ve become humble.”

The news of Shareef’s intentions met with hysterical laughter from just about all Muslim women in the San Jose area. “He has got to be out of his mind,” said Hina Malik, a 26 year-old dentist from Cupertino. “Look at him! Only an airhead would go for this guy.” Malik was quick to note the hundreds of selfies Shareef posted on Facebook, including one video of him in a Zumba tank top flexing his biceps and calling them ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction.’

“He’s 43 and I’m 28,” said Sarah Basool, an attorney from Sunnyvale when asked if she would consider Shareef. “Talk about rocking the cradle.” Basool said there is no girl with common sense that would ever marry him let alone think its not creepy. “He graduated high school in 1989 when I was 3 years old! Ewwwww.”

“This man appears to be somewhat cocky and most likely a self-inflicting narcissist,” said Dr. Osama Nadar, a clinical psychologist at the University of California in Berkeley . “While the significant gap in age between two spouses is not unheard of in America, in Mr. Shareef’s case, its all about vanity.” Nadar described Shareef as a person similar to many older single males who’s ego most likely was massively rejuvenated through the conception of social media in the early 2000s. “Normally these macho types probably hit rock bottom when they get to 35 as they realized they were just a shadow of their youth. But the internet has changed all that. Now a man who’s well beyond his prime can act and feel immature as much as he wants through the comfort of images he posts. That’s priceless.”

However, Shareef insists he has grown up and become everything he wanted to be.
“I’ve definitely changed. I have a job. I only go to Mardi Gras every other year and frat parties have been reduced to only once a month. I even stopped dressing as a leprechaun for St. Patty’s day back in 2011,” Shareef said. “So I think its now time for that one lucky lady to find out what Good Times Sammi is all about!”

Muslim Television Network Launches Comedy Sitcom on Husband and His 4 Wives

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Dec 122013

Muslim Television Network Launches Comedy Sitcom on Husband and His 4 Wives

By Laila Faridi

Muslim Television Network Launches Comedy Sitcom on Husband and His 4 WivesThe Bridges Network, the only 24 hour Muslim television network in North America, announced the debut of its long awaited new comedy sitcom about a Muslim doctor, his 4 wives and two cats named Vin and Diesel.

4 is Enough! will air next Thursday night at 8 pm (EST) with an hour-long commercial-free episode. “It’s been a while in the making, but we finally got it off the ground,” executive producer JJ Mustafa said in a press conference which highlighted the family friendly show has all the spouses living under one roof in a quaint suburb of Philadelphia. “It’s a little strange, but not unrealistic. It’s along the same genre as other shows such as HBO’s Big Love.” Mustafa added the kicker were the cats who speak English with a Quebec accent. “They’re so funny.”

While development went relatively smoothly once Bridges green-lighted the show, it was mired with some controversy. A handful of scholars, who were consulted on the program early in its conception became upset with the content which was considered somewhat inappropriate and not relevant to a normal way of life. 4 is Enough! screenwriter Abdul Haqq refuted those notions pointing to other parts of the world where marriage to more than one woman was condoned and accepted.

“It perhaps doesn’t share a common theme with most Americans. But neither did Knight Rider and look how deep people got with that show.” Haqq also dismissed the so-called delusional realism of the subject matter asserting it had more credibility than other sitcoms. “Oh, you think our show is off the wall ? What about Full House? You really thought a single dad, his best friend and brother in-law were going to raise 3 girls in a single home? Give me a break.”

4 is Enough! revolves around main character Dr. Mukhtar Salah, a 30-something pediatrician who doesn’t like kids and gets into a lot of unwanted problems through the trials and tribulation of dealing with 4 wives, each with their own unique personality. “There’s a lot of hi-jinks Mukhtar goes through,” Haqq said laughingly. “I mean he’s got one wife who can’t cook and wants to constantly travel and another who owns a pet store and wants to have kids. Plus he’s got a neighbor that’s a bachelor, kind of like Larry on Three’s Company who’s always getting him into trouble. But honestly, Vin and Diesel! Hilarious.”

The Council of Islamic Foundations in North America (CIFNA) released a statement on behalf of its leadership that it will protest the show and would look to organize a boycott. “CIFNA is not fond of a program which represents Islam in this light. Just about all Muslims on this continent and elsewhere are happily married with one spouse under the civil institution of marriage. Moreover, cats cannot use words such as ‘Eh’ nor do they enjoy coffee from Tim Hortons.”

Bridges Network have not commented to the slight negative reaction, but are listening to feedback from some Muslim cable subscribers who are unsupportive of the show. “There definitely is a little concern,“ said Hannah Masood, Vice-President of Programming. “At the same time, people need to realize we need to make money. We don’t have a Keeping Up with the Kardashians on this network so we have to be open-minded, maybe take a stroll down an alternative but respectful path.”

“It really is a show about nothing,” said Mustafa. “Other than a man who has 4 wives and talking cats, its really just a simple slice of Americana.” A spokesperson for Bridges said they will decide on whether to extend the show after the first 6 episodes based on ratings and advertisers, but for now, all signs indicate that a one year deal will most likely be completed.