BCS Finds Life Again with Pre-Season Terrorist Top 10

 POLITICS  Comments Off on BCS Finds Life Again with Pre-Season Terrorist Top 10
Aug 202015
BCS Terrorists

BCS Finds Life Again with Pre-Season Terrorist Top 10

By Sheraz Khan



BCS TerroristsNew York (NY)—The Bowl Championship Series (BCS) officially listed its Top 10 terrorists for the 2015-2016 season. To no surprise, ISIL took top honors and will be ranked for the upcoming year as the #1 team in the world.

The Bowl Championship Series (BCS), a selection system used to create the five major annual matchups in college football, was discontinued by the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) in 2014 after 15 seasons. However, after a one year lay-off, state governments decided to revitalize the computational application this past June, insistent on using a more effective method to determine the best terrorist organizations in the world.

“It really is a new chapter in our program,” said Tom Mickelson, Vice-President of Operations for the BCS. “We kind of new our days were numbered with the NCAA because of the controversies our system rendered throughout the years. But we believe the BCS still has a place to fill in society and are more than honored to rank the best terrorists in the world.”

While BCS committee members would not elaborate on the complex algorithm used to determine this season’s terrorist rankings, they did confirm that the amount of bloodshed, number of fatalities and casualties as well as regional impact of fear were not the only factors used to determine the order. “Our mathematical process also included the variable levels of annoyance, aloofness, defiance, bantering, and arguing for no reason or stating bizarre uncorroborated statements,” said Sheila McBride, Senior Vice-President of Communications for the BCS. However, she would not comment on a possible change to the BCS name, from ‘BCS’ to ‘TCS’ or Terrorist Championship Series. Rankings as of August 21:

Week 1 Ranking

August 8

Recognized Terrorist Organization

Opponent Week 1

United Nations Poll






White Supremacists

Black Church, Tulsa, OK



Yisrael Beiteinu PP (Israel)




English Defense League (UK)

London Muslims



Boko Haram

St. Mary’s All-Girls school Kano, Nigeria



Donald Trump




Lion Hunters




FOX News

A Brain



Gay Muslims




Movie Shooters



*Game will air 8pm (EST), Saturday on FOX and will be played 24 hours a day for the next 7 days. Check local listings for channel.

Not entering the BCS rankings and slipping out of the United Nations top 10 poll for the first time in 13 years was Al-Qaeda, considered the “Alabama of global terrorism” in the previous decade. With the loss of Taliban support and the rise of ISIL, the worldwide sleeper-cell organization has been in a rebuilding phase for much of the past few years. “It’s been tough and rather hard for the fans who expect us to compete for the title each year,” said Abdul Muhammad Ibn Zaqiri, Counter-Offensive Destruction Coordinator. “But we have some good 5 star recruits that have given us their commitment to join and want to be a part of the Al-Qaeda terrorist legacy.” Others not making the top 10 ranking were the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Columbia (FARQ), the Jewish Defense League (JDL) and Confederate Flag advocates.

During the discussion of his recruiting class which includes the #3, #5 and #17 best young terrorists of 2016, ISIL head coach, Yasir “Papa Bear” El-Fadhli said in a press conference today his team is ready but is still trying to take each week with realistic expectations. “Are we good? Absolutely,” said El-Fadhli. “But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Nobody gets an award as the #1 team during the first week of the season. It’s how you finish that counts.”



Sep 182014
Title picture


By the Okra News Staff


Title pictureAs the world turns its attention, yet again, to the Middle East with the rise of Al-Qaeda’s little brother, ISIS as the new rebels in town, America and Hollywood are possibly getting ready for the next chapter in fighting the Muslim world with tons of scripts and screenplays to produce movies that will frighten moviegoers and all those influenced by entertainment with no substance. Islam bashing has become a part of cinematic tradition in the United States. Ever since Rudolph Valentino’s 1921 role in The Sheikh, Islamaphobia and “Arabploitation” much like Blaxploitation, Hollywood has had a steady hand in denigrating Muslims. It’s probably less in recent years and in some circumstances such as Zero Dark Thirty, it’s worked on the balance. But let’s not think we’re over the hump. We can expect more. In the meantime, let’s pause for a moment and give a toast to all those movies, some good and bad, which could have done it right, but blew it. Here’s the Top 10.


Babel (2006) Directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu—


I wish this film hadn’t made it into the top 10. Maybe if we substituted Navy Seals, the Delta Force or some Chuck Norris movie, it would have eluded the embarrassment. But that would be too easy. Babel, which stars Brat Pitt, and Cate Blanchette, focuses on four very interesting and interrelated stories. Themes include government involvement, love, family and abandonment. As a whole, the screenplay stands on very prominent legs which capture the characters, the plots, and cinematography with stylish grandeur. It did after all win a Golden Globe, for Best Picture Motion-Drama. However, the intimate relationship between an Arab boy and his sister probably left an American audience with a bad taste in their mouth.  The writers didn’t have to take it there. The “there” won’t be revealed; but it’s enough to make most Muslims and Arabs angry yet another caricature had to be added to the barbaric and crude inventory of Muslim imagery.


The Mummy (1999) Directed by Stephen Sommers

the mummy

a poor man’s version to Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Mummy is lame. Of course it went on to gross $416 million at the box office. Based on the usual gimmicks which gets people interested on the Middle East, Egyptology and mummies, the film is a formulaic hunt- for-the golden treasure script filled with heroes, villains, adventurous mythical cities, and…well you know where I’m going with this spiel. Sadly, with all the elements of surprise The Mummy uses to accentuate the excitement, what’s not surprising is the portrayal of Muslims. A warrior, protective and ready to kill, the Arab character, Ardeth Bay never disappoints to uphold the standards of violence and death by keeping it real.


East is East (1999) Directed by Ayub Khan-Din

east is east

we’ve all had experiences with our own families which would at times be considered dysfunctional and downright nuts. But at the end of the day, we’re still family. East is East takes the drama and insanity only a family can muster and shares it with awkwardness and sadness. Ayub Khan-Din, who happens to be a Muslim apparently didn’t hold back when he wrote and directed the story of a Pakistani Muslim family living in England during the early 70s. Like any coming of age movie this one brings it with all the typical stereotypes you would expect; curious teenagers who are experiencing what the “West” has to offer in terms of society and entertainment while reluctantly accepting to live in very strict household with an ill-tempered father who wants nothing more than his children to follow in his traditional and supposed Islamic footsteps. The screenplay is actually marvelous and definitely shares a certain element which many of us who grew up as first generation can sympathize. But Ayub—come on man. The characters are teetering on the extreme marred with the typical bloated attributes of a Muslim patriarch who his family will love or fear but never both.


Back to the Future (1985) Directed by Robert Zemeckis

BACK TO THE FUTURE  1985 Universal/Steven Spielberg film with  Michael  Fox at right and Christopher Lloyd

to be politically correct, or PC, was a pretty hip phase just before the turn of the century. It meant the views and policies of society had to be careful in order to not offend. Its range hovered from the academics to multi-culturalism and affirmative action down to the implications of a “hate speech”, which didn’t make any sense because if the 1st amendment protects the freedom of speech than why would we need to be politically correct in what we addressed regardless if it was hateful or not?

That being said Back to the Future was not made in the PC era, circa 1991. It was made in the 80s when conservative values reigned supreme and so long as you were rich, white, or both, you could do what you wanted. Evidently, movies from the decade displayed a lack of political accountability at its finest. Back to the Future is no different. It had good guy Michael J. Fox playing the affable Marty McFly who gets accidentally transported back to the 1950s in a Delorean time-machine after his friend and inventor gets attacked then killed by…you guessed it—the radical Arab terrorists. And how do we know this? Because one of the bad guys is wearing a keffiyeh. It’s not so much the scene is condescending towards Arabs although that is a valid argument. But it’s intentional. The writers knew perfectly well an article of clothing closely associated to what Americans perceive as Arabic would help solidify the stereotype. This is a classic family movie I suppose. Its legacy has held firm for close to 30 years and its impact on culture has been preserved. But you can’t help speculate what the impression one scene will always have on kids. It may be a moot point given how the world and perceptions have changed since the movie came out. Then again—1985 isn’t far from the future.


Rules of Engagement (2000) Directed by William Friedkin


The American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee summed it up by describing Rules of Engagement as “probably the most racist film ever made against Arabs by Hollywood.” It’s rather upsetting that Friedkin, who directed classics such as The Exorcist and The French Connection, could have contributed to this movie. I would rather believe he was duped. Regardless, the thought of a US Colonel court-martialed for ordering troops to fire in a crowd of Arabs demonstrating at an American embassy only to find out later the Arabs were strapped with guns and ready to attack is ridiculous. It validates the Colonel’s decision to neutralize a group of Arab Muslims because they got wild and killed more marines. Somehow the US military becomes the victim in this circumstance.


Argo (2012) Directed by Ben Affleck—

Argo, film of the week

Ben Affleck is a smart and cool dude. A Boston guy; the kind of guy you could go to a ballgame with, talk and chill. He’s also a pretty decent actor and director. But his 2012 Oscar award winning for best film of the year Argo, based on the CIA rescue attempt of six American nationalists in Tehran during the midst of the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis is just blatantly so wrong. Without flagging a spoiler alert for the remaining 10 people in the country who still haven’t seen this yet, the ending is bristling with overbearing Muslim attitude and stereotypes to the point where much of it is simply a fictional turn of events Hollywood injected to get the action pumping. Iranian men are viewed as boorish ogres prone to violence and vendettas with a sadistic hate towards the United States. It’s the finale where the caper gets thick with heart-wrenching agony as the preparation to escape gets underway to the haunting tune of Led Zeppelin’s “When the Levee Breaks.” The irony is the actual story and what really happened when the Americans made their way through the airport, pass the security and on to the tarmac to board the plane. Watch the movie then read the truth. It’s nothing as it seems.


The Siege (1998) Directed by Edward Zwick

The Siege

just the title makes you realize this is going to be about Muslims. 1998 was a rather volatile year for American foreign relations. In August, American embassies were bombed in Nairobi and Dar Es Salaam, allegedly by Al-Qaeda which left a few hundred dead. The Siege came out conspicuously a few months later. The story—Arab terrorist sleeper cells attack New York. Terrific. There must be a campaign to take a news-worthy incident of sensational proportion and use it as a springboard for entertainment and political messages.  This movie also provides us with some interfaith dialogue when a character is fatally wounded and recites not only the Our Father prayer but throws in “Inshallah” as good gesture—I think. As its base The Siege is very black and white in terms of understanding and compassion towards different religion and people. There are good guys and bad guys with the latter defined not by their criminal record, but by their ancestral record. It’s a shame this film was as accepting as it was and makes you wonder if Islam is just the latest and greatest threat by an identified ethnic religion America has had to encounter since its independence.


Executive Decision (1996) Directed by Stuart Baird


No raspberry list of horrible movies can be complete unless Executive Decision is in it. Forget the worst movies depicting Muslims and Arabs. This one just sucks. A Greek and Lithuanian play the most feared Arab bad guys, El Sayed Jaffa and his lieutenant Nagi Hassan. That dooms the movie. Lithuanians make terrible terrorists. Never mind the plot which includes people moving from one plane to another in mid-air or a flight attendant was smart enough to find the sleeper terrorist with the bomb. But a Lithuanian playing a terrorist is just not the right thing to do. If it wasn’t for quintessential ham Steven Seagal’s minor but “powerful” role in this movie, it’s a throw-away. Then again, it might still be. Even Seagal can’t save this one.


Black Sunday (1977) Directed by John Frankenheimer


if you can find this one and want to get understand how the Israeli-Palestinian conflict was viewed in the 1970s, look no further than Black Sunday. This could have easily been #1 if it was actually more popular. In a nutshell, Black September, the Palestinian operatives who were blamed for the 1972 Olympics Munich Massacre, have decided to attack American soil by detonating a bomb at the Orange Bowl during Super Bowl X. Talk about going for the trifecta of ultimate victims: The United States, Israel and the NFL. How much more do you need in terms of sensitivity to the American audience than these three holy entities.

This movie reads like a checklist of Muslim terrorism: Palestinian operatives planning to bomb an extravagant event—check. Operatives discussing suicide bombings—check. Operatives attempt to kill a patient at a hospital—check. A Goodyear blimp strapped with a bomb and steel darts—double check. Thankfully, Super Bowl X was played. The Steelers beat the Cowboys 21-17. How a movie with such callous bias and animosity towards Palestinians was ever made defines an era when paranoia was running rampant. But it also demonstrates the fabrication created to build a doomsday scenario when in reality it had no merit. Black September unofficially disbanded in 1973. The PLO had accepted a two state solution by the mid-70s an early indication of moving towards peace with Israel. And yet, instigators were still out in full force to try and bolster the fear factor of crazy Arabs and Muslims.


True Lies (1994) Directed by James Cameron

true lies

without a doubt and since its release almost 20 years ago, True Lies stands the test of time and comes in at #1. We’re so familiar with this film it’s passed down by generation in many Muslim households. The older it gets the better it ages with fine racism and juicy scenes of anti-Arab sentiments, or for those haters, anti-Arab celebrations.  If you want to sum up the film quickly—boneheaded comedy, sex and violence. It’s not surprising why it holds a 72% favorable rating on Rotten Tomatoes. 72%!

The story is extremely transparent and despicable, utilizing “Middle-Easterners” as people hell bent on gaining nuclear weapons for world destruction with the very least on destroying the United States. Crimson Jihad is their name. Crimson Jihad—why crimson? Laughable. It’s a Schwarzenegger film so not much is expected with the plot in terms of depth and detail. But to use the typical stereotypes of Muslims and Arabs so nonchalantly and excessively is beyond imagination.

James Cameron movies aren’t what I would call intellectual stimulation. He made Avatar, which was basically a Smurf movie for adults and the bad but so good Point Break. Action is what defines a Cameron movie. True Lies is very much a part of his family. It too can be found on any television channel just about every week; one of those movies to pass the time with before going out for dinner or attending a birthday party. But the message is clear. We know who evil is and what it wants to do—a negative portrayal at its best.

Media Outlets Furious Ethiopian Hijacker Was Not Muslim

 POLITICS  Comments Off on Media Outlets Furious Ethiopian Hijacker Was Not Muslim
Feb 212014

Media Outlets Furious Ethiopian Hijacker Was Not Muslim

By Riaz Hamzavi


SWITZERLAND-ETHIOPIA-HIJACKINGWashington (DC)—Despite the relief many Muslims felt when it was confirmed the man who attempted to hijack an Ethiopian airlines flight this past Monday, was not a Muslim, many media outlets were upset by the outcome.

“I cannot tell you how much time we spent, how many cue cards we wrote up, so we could be ready to take down yet another terrorist. Then we find out he’s not Muslim!” said Max Hellstrom, co-executive producer for Fox News Washington. “Here’s a toast to the good old days when we could count on one of these nuts to take over a plane and give us plenty of stories to get ratings.”

Hellstrom was not alone in his disappointment. The Associated Press cited more than 60 complaints from global media sources angry the thirty-something Ethiopian assailant, who also was the co-pilot on the flight, had no ties to Islam.

“When this broke, we were so excited, said Byron Hathaway, Senior Vice-President of Digital Content for NewsMax.com, the conservative online media organization based in Tampa. “Muslim articles were kind of in a lull ever since the Boston Marathon died down. I was hoping this was going to be the return of Islamaphobia so we could all listen to the hits one more time. It would have been fun and trippy—like seeing a Black Sabbath reunion.”

However, the right-wing press was not the only side upset on the non-Muslim hijacking. CNN was a “little stunned” with the discovery of the man’s religious profile.  “There were so many re-writes to do that our editing team was pissed,” said Brendan Anderson, a senior writer for Wolf Blitzer’s show, The Situation Room. He made mention of a new three hour segment the network had produced in 72 hours about Islamic attacks on airplanes called “Please Don’t Fasten Your Seatbelts: We’re Never Landing.”

“I’m not going to say we’re stereotyping Muslims when it comes to hijackings. But I do think we like to hedge our bets a little and go for the obvious choice,” said Brian Strazzante. “It’s kind of like picking the Yankees to go to the World Series every year. It’s not guaranteed. But come on—it’s the Yankees. You wouldn’t expect anything less from them.”

Racial profiling and discrimination towards Muslims at airport has been on a decline for the past 5 years. While some media personalities such as Emmy Award winner Juan Williams and all-around bigoted bitch Anne Coulter had been vocal with their opinions on flying the un-friendly skies with Muslims on board, the loosening of TSA profiling coupled with advanced security screening has eased many passenger concerns with safety.

Still, Margaret George, a research analyst for the popular London news source, The Guardian says, there’s always sense in beating a dead horse. “It’s so much easier when it’s the same ethnic or religious group that conducts a crime. It makes our lives as journalists easier because then we don’t have to fact-check. The name of the game is speed, not accuracy.” George also stipulated that because the hijacker was not a Muslim and only wanted asylum in Switzerland (even though he threatened to crash the plane), news of the incident was short-lived because it didn’t have that brand to make it sensational. “When you say Chanel, I think of perfume. When you say hijack, I think of Islam. It’s a marketed commodity. Cheers.”

Apparently the only news station which had no problems with the story of the non-Muslim Ethiopian hijacker was New York’s Atlantis Cable News (ACN), However, ACN is a fictitious television network created by Aaron Sorkin which was on HBO for two seasons before it was cancelled. Reports have surfaced the show was terminated because it was purely objective and told the truth in all circumstances of a story, which to many within the business was a complete fabrication of reality.